This will be the second blog post I've done tonight... I am on a roll! Click here for proof.

I started a blog for the Relief Society at church. Technically, it's MY blog about Relief Society and NOT the Relief Society's blog. I've only got two entries up so far, but I'm hoping it goes well. And that the ladies actually read it. When I announced today that I had started a blog, I got a lot o' blank stares. haha It's going to blow their minds when they see that I mentioned adding it to their RSS Feeds in the e-mail I sent out about it! haha

Anyway, it's just me and lil Lauren tonight. Andrew and Evan went to Tupelo. Work's been kinda slow for Andrew lately, so he's going to work for his mom tomorrow. Of course, Evan had to go. He loves his Grandma. :) They asked if we would go, but I declined. I figured I'd give Grandma free reign over Evan. She loves spoiling him, and I can't stand to watch it. haha He loves it, though, so that's why I let him go.

Another reason I didn't want to go is b/c oooffff....

THIS!!!!!

For those of you too lazy to go to the link, it's a freakin' awesome mattress pad! 4 inches of down alternative and memory foam goodness... *sigh* It is heaven... This will be my first night to sleep on it, and I was definitely not giving that up. :)

Another thing I love about it besides it's billowy goodness is what the receipt says at the very bottom:

You saved $334.70.

Heck yes, we did! Thank you, Linda, (Andrew's mom) for using your coupon and picking that up for us. You rock! Best birthday money I ever spent... maybe now I won't wake up sore in the mornings... *crosses fingers*

In other terribly exciting news, I, Johanna the avid livejournaler, am going to have a column in a paper! Woot! Remember long ago when I said that I thought it would be fun to have my own newspaper column? No? What kind of reader are you anyway? geez...

well, my fellow lj-er freejenkins, who just so happens to work for a newspaper in Texas, said to e-mail him about it... so I did. I sent him a couple of samples, and bada-bing-bada-boom, his editor asked me to write more. It's not a paying gig, but it'll get my foot in the door for other opportunities. I'm excited about it.

And for those of you who don't live in Texas and are really sad that you won't be able to read my amazing work (ha!), they are a very innovatical (just like that word) newspaper and put copies of their papers online. So wipe away those tears, my friends. You can still read them. If they're printed... which might not happen after freejenkins reads this and finds out what a dork I'm being about this. haha

I'm just THAT excited, okay? :D

Well, I think I'm going to go crawl into my extremely cozy bed and sleep like a rock (hopefully). Good night!

I don't know if a lot of you new readers realize this, but I've had this here livejournal for a loooong time. Technically, I had a ujournal before I had a livejournal, but ujournal chose to completely die on me one day, so I moved to the ole lj and have been here ever since. I started my uj way back in December 2002. Yowza... that's nearly 7 years ago! UJ died in 2004, and after much pain and agony over losing my previous entries, I finally decided to start a livejournal and have been at its mercy ever since. Amazing, right? Yeah, I knew you were excited about that.

That's a long time to be putting my thoughts out to the world. My brain is constantly in "journal think." (which I wrote about long ago if you're interested.) Sometimes though, I have days or even weeks when I can't come up with a topic. That seems to be the case lately. I think that knowing that so many more people read this makes me have major brain farts. I've been wanting more people to read this since forever, and now that they do... I can't write. Crap noodles...

SO! Here's my solution:

POST OLD ENTRIES!

It's so SIMPLE! I'm a genius!

First thing I did was go to my memories section of my journal. There are only TWO that I deemed memorable. Probably b/c I forgot that there was a memory section of my journal. Anyway, since one entry has to do with the day I got engaged and it's really the event that's memorable and not the entry itself, I decided to go with the other one.

EXPLANATION: I had one other boyfriend besides Andrew, and it wasn't the prettiest break-up in the world. I apparently wrote this long after it happened. I must've thought I was being pretty philosophical at the time to make it a memory... at any rate, here it is. My philosophical genius...

( Cut for those who really don't care to read old crap )

Here's a text conversation that Andrew and I just had:

Me: I just found a dried booger on my leg
Andrew: Awesome, were you saving it for later and forgot about it?
Me: haha, I guess but they don't taste as good dry as they do fresh
Andrew: Add a little milk or water
Me: I bet juice is good

We're so cool. :)

I had some REALLY weird dreams last night.

Dream 1:
I dreamed that we had to go to the town where ebrake works, and we were going to stay in the hotel where she works. I looked around for her, and I saw her once, but she didn't see me. Then I somehow end up at her house, but it's just me and the kids b/c Andrew had to go somewhere. And her husband Jose was gone. Evan and Jonah are playing, and Lauren's crawling on their bed. We're sitting in complete silence watching a show, and then this video of Jose shows up on their computer and he tells her that he just got his test results back and he has MD (Medical Disease). I immediately grab Lauren off their bed thinking that she's going to catch it somehow. And so we sit in silence some more, and I'm finally like "So, how's it going?" And she apologizes for not talking.

Dream 2:
I had a dream that the wheelchair kid, Artie, from Glee had some girl with him. He had some trick going where he told her something, but it meant something totally different and everybody knew it but her. Anyway, he ended up in the backseat of a car with her. She said no. To keep a long story from getting disgusting, they did it anyway. yeah, weird.

Dream 3:
I dreamed that this guy was upset that we couldn't remember who he was, and so I had a flashback of being in the woods, and he was there with his friends on dirt bikes. They asked where this one guy was, and then we saw him running through the woods with his clothes all torn. And then we saw a wolf behind him chasing him. So we're all scared and wanting to save him. I jumped on one of their dirt bikes and started driving away, but apparently the wolf liked dirt bikes and chased after me instead. I remember being very scared.

Dream 4:
There's a huge mix-up with coffins. This guy ordered a special one with star wars stuff on it for his house, but they accidentally gave him the plain one and put this dead lady in his. He was pretty upset, so we went outside (which was my dad's yard) and opened her coffin. There was ice and water in it. And I think they switched her back.

Dream 5:
There was some commercial that said it was for curly haired people. It was this lady with a nursing bra on, but it was a very pretty, sexy bra, and they demonstrated how easy it was for you to nurse with it by having a spider monkey nurse on her boob.

What is wrong with my brain? And before anyone asks, No, I'm not having crazy pregnant dreams. These are normal Johanna dreams. The pregnant ones get even weirder.

In more normal news, Evan's birthday was yesterday, and now he's THREEEEEE!! It's crazy. I can't believe my boy is three. And more importantly, I can't believe I have taken care of another human being for three whole years, and he's healthy and happy, and fairly normal. As normal as you can be with a weirdo for a mom like me. :)

He spent the day with his Papa and Granna Pettus. I put him in her car, and he said, "Go away, mom! Bye!" I feel so loved. haha

Well, that's all for now.

I told you I was freaky...

I'm glad crayons are non-toxic b/c Lauren finds them and eats them all the time. She gets really mad at me when I take them away, too. Silly girl.

Evan is in Tupelo right now. I miss the little guy, but I gotta admit... it's pretty cool cleaning house and it actually staying that way. haha but ultimately, I'd take him over a clean house any day. He always makes me laugh, and I miss him.

I called last night to talk to him and was told by Sarah afterwards that he peed his pants talking to me. Yeah, I'm THAT exciting! haha

I've been pretty productive today. Our bedrooms are clean except for vacuuming. I've folded some clothes and have more washing/drying. I unloaded/reloaded the dishwasher. And I have plans to sort through Evan's clothes and get rid of the too little ones and MAYBE clean the laundry room. It's gross. It never gets cleaned b/c I can close the door, and no one sees it. Spiders breed there, I think.

OH, and yesterday I swept and mopped all the laminate floors. I don't even remember the last time I mopped those. Gross, right? I hate mopping.

Today is a beautiful sunny day, and I think that boosts my mood. I'm much more productive and happy on sunny days.

I went to a Pampered Chef party last night. If I had tons of money, I would buy pretty much everything in that catalog. Unfortunately, I'm just a poor girl. Nobody likes me. she's just a poor girl from a poor family

I just found this... awesome!

Well, I should go back to being productive again. Wish me luck!

Sunday, while hurrying to take a shower for church, I mistakenly grabbed the conditioner instead of the shampoo. I didn't notice until I was looking for the conditioner and realized I had already used it. I considered using the shampoo and then using the conditioner again, but then I remembered long ago reading about the "no poo" method. So I took a chance and just went with the conditioner. My hair was either going to be really gross or the same as always--frizzy and crappy.

Best. Hair. Ever.

My hair was the curliest it's been in a looong time. And there was very little frizz. I tried it again today thinking that today my hair was going to be greasy and gross, but it wasn't! I didn't use as much mousse this time, so it's slightly frizzy, but still curlier than usual.

So, I looked up the "no poo" method again, and here it is, folks.

Don't Poo on Me

Oh, and this is for curly hair only. I don't think it works on straight hair...

Anyway, I'm going to continue doing it, and keep you updated. Not that you actually care, but I'm excited that my hair looks nice. :)

I've been cleaning out my e-mail inbox lately. Yeah, I know, random. I had over 7,000 in there, and now I'm to 400 something.

I've been sorting through and archiving things I want to keep, so I've been reading a lot of old stuff. It's been kinda fun.

Right now I'm watching The Little Mermaid with Evan, and Triton just sacrificed himself for his daughter. It made me remember an e-mail I read yesterday that Cheryl (my step-mom) sent me that said while they were watching that movie somewhere, Dad started to tear up during that part. And now I'm about to start crying.

I know my Dad would do anything for us kids. I love him so much. He's the best. I couldn't ask for a better Dad.

Evan went potty earlier and came in the living room with his pants and underwear in his hand. He said he needed help, and I told him to ask Daddy. Andrew said his pull-up had pee in it, so he threw it in the trash and left him pantsless. I was okay with that b/c I was about to give him a bath anyway. So Andrew left for class, and we're sitting there watching TV when I start smelling something.

It smelled like poop.

I knew Lauren was clean b/c she was in my lap, so I looked down and Evan was sitting on the rug scooting his butt across it... leaving brown streaks behind.

Oh. My. Gosh.

It reminded me of those dogs that scoot their butt on the floor. Anyway, needless to say, he immediately got a bath. I made him and Lauren stay in the back of the house until I got it cleaned up, and I took way longer than necessary just to get some alone time.

Kids... It's a good thing I love them. haha

I don't know what to do with Lauren lately. She screams and screams when I lay her down to sleep. I thought that something was wrong the other night, so I got her out of bed and tried to love her up. Turns out, she just didn't want to be in bed. She wanted to play and crawl around. And it's getting worse b/c she can stand up in her crib now, so instead of laying down and eventually going to sleep, she stands up and screams.

I remember staying in Evan's room until he fell asleep for awhile. It's kinda difficult to do that with the second child. Just now when I was in there, I could hear Evan saying, "Where's mommy? Where's Lauren?" And then sometimes he comes back there, and then she wants to watch him b/c she loves him.

Anyway, most of the time, I can tell she's really tired and wants to go to sleep, but she fights it. Why? I would love to get a nap. Why do babies fight it?

I guess I just miss my baby that went to bed so well.

Well, she's asleep now and not screaming, and Evan wants me to play a game. That sounds like fun. I think I shall.

I'm frustrated with companies that only put out a few of their product, so that when they run out, the price sky-rockets.

I'm talking to YOU, Disney! Grrrr... curse your clever marketing strategies...

It's lunch time, and my kids and I are eating saltine crackers. I am the best mother in the world. I got them out for Lauren to gnaw on, and now we're all eating them. Tasty, tasty.

Or as Fergie would say, "Tastey."

"Gnaw" is a weird word. Why the silent "g?" I should look it up in my History of English book. I sure do miss that class. I miss linguistics.

Okay, I just took a break to make us some lunch b/c I decided to be unlazy. I made sandwiches, but I didn't have any mayo. I used sour cream instead. I was kinda scared to eat it, but it turned out okay. Not as good as mayo, but edible. I could barely taste it, actually

Evan ate the ham out of his sandwich and left the bread and cheese. This is the same kid that ate like 6 slices of cheese earlier this week. I will never understand his eating habits.

I'm going to a ball game at my old high school tonight. No Andrew. No kids. Just me and my sister. woooooot! My niece is playing with the band. I've been wanting to go to see the band, anyway. I don't go to watch the games. I go to watch the band.

Band geeks unite!

Well, I've got nothing else to say. No exciting news except the scrape on my knee from the stroller accident is finally healed. I can kneel again! yay! I know you're excited, too.

Big gulps, huh? Well, see ya later!

I just called a bunch of ladies from church to remind them about the food they signed up to bring. This is how all the conversations went.

Me: Hey, Sister So-and-so, this is Johanna. How are you doing?
Them: Fine. How are you doing?
Me: Great. I was just calling to remind you that you signed up to bring *insert food item here* tomorrow night for our enrichment meeting.
Them: Yes.
*pause*
Me: Okay, well, I was just calling everybody to remind them. Thanks.

It's total awkwardness when they already know... I felt like a dufus.

Evan just told me I had cool hair. What's he smokin'?

Andrew went to school right after work today to review for a test. I hate days when he's gone all day. they suck.

For example, while I was feeding a crying Lauren, Evan decided he needed to go poopy. I thought all was well until it was time for me to go wipe. Unfortunately, he pooped his pants and left those in the hallway. There was a poop blob on the floor in front of the toilet and poop all over his butt. Meanwhile, Lauren was crying b/c I wasn't feeding her.

I guess it could've been worse. It just would've been nice to have an extra set of hands. Hence, the me missing Andrew bit.

Evan is watching the demo at the beginning of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time video game over and over. You'd think it'd be getting on my nerves, but I've become able to tune all that crap out.

My kids are so cute. I like it when they play together.

At least until one of them ends up crying. You'd think it'd be Lauren all the time, but it's not. Evan was getting mad in the tub b/c she was kicking water at him. And she takes his toys all the time. It's amusing. A nearly three year old getting mad at an 8 month old.

Lauren usually cries when Evan pushes her down or sticks laundry baskets with blankets on top of her.

Well, Evan asked me to read him a story and it's nearly bed time so I should go. Good night!

Evan broke my full-length mirror this morning. And with his head even. I was talking on the phone with my sister and heard glass breaking. He was laying on my bed with the mirror on top of him. I have no idea what happened, but there was glass everywhere. After I made sure he was okay, he got sent to his room so I could cool down. Anger management...

As my mom always said... "We just can't have nice things."

It took me nearly 4 years of marriage to get that stupid thing.... *sigh*

I'm glad he's okay, though. He has a tiny cut on his face. It could've been alot worse.

I think "alot" should be a word. It annoys me that it turns red when I type it. I know it's supposed to be "a lot," but I like it the other way better.

I woke up this morning with frustrations, though, so everything at this point is pretty annoying.

If I were to write a newspaper column... what would I write about? Suggestions, please. Thanks.

Well, since I'm so full of joy this morning, I guess I'll go. later, dudes.